Difficulties.

I feel so blardy depressed because... I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING MUCH @ THE GYM ON SUNDAY, stupid arm injury. i don't like. wahlao.......... looking at rachel doing weights was a MAJOR TURN OFF. ah. well, at least i didn't spend my sunday rotting @ home so that's good. went for frolick to kill my craving, it brightened up my day~

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY~ celebration was good, no lessons! mass was alright, despite dreading it at the start. class party turned out well, followed by ice fight and it was real fun yknow! CONCERT. i like. ballroom dance, singing, dance club' dances and 2/1 dance! icc w sissy, wifey, rach and nicole. green tea didn't taste nice and it spoilt my appetite. headed for karibs, lesson was real funny and headed home. out w girls t ecp tmrw!~

Letting go of all I've held onto

Let go.

27. I don't like the number - 27.

life's so painful, i'm so fucking tired so spare me the agony. sigh. if i'm given a choice, i wouldn't want to see you there that day. everything would remain the same, no promises, nothing. now you feel happy, forget all about me and neglect me. it's a long way down. i've been trying to breathe but i'm fighting for air. you used to be always there when everything falls apart, but now you're no longer there. i'm feeling very confused. you knew, i was having a difficult time moving on, why did you have to make it worse. why are you so insensitive? sometimes, i really don't feel talking to you at all. i'm letting go of all i've held onto.

may you tell me something sweet to get me by? for once more.

Suffocating.

Though nothing seems to be left behind,
there is always something to look for, somewhere beyond.

rushed down for training after chinese remedial, coach was feeling playful~ he paired all the seniors up for k2s and we did 250m/100m sprints. coach partnered me up with tracy, first time taking together and went down in plastex k2. mm, we're the only k2 that didn't capsize! ultra happy man. anddd, her ultra lame jokes... srsly can laugh your ass off. i was feeling very horrible, but tracy cheered me up a little tho, thanks~

Letting go of all I've held onto.

Got back my results. ahh~ well, i passed biology on the dot. social studies was plain disappointment, i found the paper alright but as usual, still failing. i don't feel like blogging. i'm feeling very very horrible now... not only because of results. i'm having training tomorrow, hopefully feeling better. i hate myself for being like this.

Feels like i'm hanging by a thread.

Training in the morning, there was an event going on @ BedokReservoir. we did 6km first, break, followed by 250m sprints. raced w kimberlyn, wifey, sissy, ashley and tpjc guy. i find the tpjc guy ultraaa fast. he said "i race slow one" and burst. i don't like. i tried pushing myself today, however, i know for myself that i was distracted and my arm was really in pain. i feel weak. my strokes were... horrendous, coach had to keep telling me to be patient, slow down my strokes and pull deeper into the water. i spent weeks slowing down my strokes and in fact, it worked. i thought that i would remain as what it is now, going for slow strokes yet going at a faster speed. however, it's coming back. i rly don't like it.

JOEY, YOU BETTER LEARN HOW TO BE PATIENT.
else i'm going to hate you for life.

rushed home then whitesands, karibs and finished R-formula worksheet~ whitesands macs w rach, wifey, sissy, nicole! taptap and i stayed there alone to do my work, thanks to somebodyyyyy. i don't like. 21 home!

/edited
i was supposed to be out gyming + studying. man, my mum just said,"no more gyming, running and studying outside." i don't like.
AND HI RACHEL SIAO JIA YU~

Letting go of all I've held onto.

i questioned myself and defeat is the best word to describe my feelings.

many unexplainable things have been happening to me lately, i don't know why but i'm trying to look at things from a different perspective. it's difficult, i'm trying but i don't seem to be on the right track. i hate to feel this way. i'm neglecting some of my true friends who are always there for me, but i don't want to feel this way either. i'm ultra sorry, i'm trying to change! sometimes the more you come to know a person, the more you feel lost when you're trying to understand him/her. i don't like.

sissy and jo!
i know you're still @ obs! me miss you and come back soon alrightt,

Starving for truth.

The weather today was so hot i think i'm melting and i had training! attendance was so muuuch better. we did the same sets as saturday, however, this time round i did 14km instead of 21km due to limited time. mm, i see people pushing themselves more now. i rather you do it slow than cheat in terms of the sets you're doing. do you see any point in cheating yourself, the team and coach, in terms of the sets you're doing? i don't see any point in cheating. don't you feel guilty? will you improve? question yourself. i'm just keeping mum, think about it for your own sake. ah well. i suddenly thought of something. i want to grow till 158cm at least :( it's so depressing when people say you lose because you're short or you've shorter limbs. my arm has been acting up lately. doctor, sinseh or just ignore. omg. i really don't know what the doctor will say.

to make things worse, i got back my emath paper and scored terribly. okkk SOME people (i wonder who!) might want to beat me up i know, but i guess you've to see things from my point of view. emath is the best paper i can score in, so twenty-five out of thirty isn't a good thing.

i miss you sissy!
today.is.a.bad.day.and.i.dont.like.
:(

on a lighter noteeeee, victoria's sweet enough to bake me cookies! supposedly gingerbread man but it broke.

Who do I run to?

Happy eighteen tyc, train hard for ivps~ doubt you'll see this tho.

so, me had training in the morning and everything turned out fine, in fact, everything. but the same thing had to spoil my day. sometimes, i blame myself for it. maybe i'm just not good enough for it or something, i wouldn't know. coach told us to row 6rounds then 10mins break, and that's counted as one set. all of us were supposed to do three sets and more tho, i did 19 rounds(which is 20.9km) with 15 mins break. i didn't go accordingly to the resttime tho, i guess i was really determined at that time~ but i know for myself, i will never be good enough for it. my last set was tedious, my arm has been acting up lately and sometimes i really don't want to stop, but i know i have to, soon. should i seek a doctor... but there comes the painkillers, mc and everything. i don't like.

karibs, bad day indeed. met ng jing cheng to study @ macs aft tuition, w wifey, sissy, rach sitting next table and they brightened up my day :D thanks for the lollipop beee~ i was playing taptap w girls tho, vv fun HAHAH. did karibs, his friends came along aft girls left. left ard sixplus w beeee, took 21 tgt~ fish steamboat w godparents and parents, headed home then. gyming and studying tmrw supposedly, but all cancelled :(


and if now i say i like you,
would you bother.

Fingertips.

All papers down~ i know for myself that i screwed some papers ttm. studied but still screwed, okkk it doesn't make any sense. got back chinese and chem tho, 61% for chi surprisingly while chem 77.5%. so today to spice up my life, i caught ... WHERE GOT GHOST w sissy and vic~ missed the 3plus one because we were eating super slowly @ yoshinoya, caught the 4.50 one instead! bought tix, walked ard in Toy R'us and behaved like small kidz who are deprived of childhood. i like to blow bubbles. sissy! let's get one huge bottle on 24th oct okkk~ lost the tix before movie started, so i bought another three tix for us :( wo mei you qian le. BUTTT! the movie's niceee, tho it's in chinese. FUNNY + SCARY = NICE. vic and i were grabbing each other hands okkk, come to think of it, it's vv funny~ then we were all leaning towards sylvia! headed home then. thanks for today, you guys brightened my day^^

All we need is ... time.

Hiiiii. man it was good studying on sunday with ber + monday with fun-sized. tuesday! chem was awesomeee, however, bio sucked. hate it when i cannot have the chance to choose what science subject i wanted all along, phyiscs :( on a lighter note, i passed my chinese (61%)! last touch training, studied in school + home and slept lateee. mmm, e math was totally screwed. i don't understand why must there always be mistakes in the paper and others don't even spend time checking it. spent time studying geog and it turned out alright! hopefully i will get mmm, A1 :>

i hate how some people are always feeling complacent about themselves, not cherishing what they have until they lose it. they will never understand how lucky they are when they have the access to _________ or _________. then they think that it's simply "chickenfeet" to them to win us, so they don't even give in their all for each race set they do. i mean, there are sure many times when people will feel complacent about themselves, because they think they are good at it or something. i know for myself very well, i just keep running away because a part of me is afraid, i keep asking myself why am i afraid, but i always have no answer to that. ah well, they should wake up and stop being so complacent, because it's not going to get you anywhere else, one day, you'll still lose it.

Approaching perfection.

damn. i reached school at 6.40 today because i was informed that there's rehearsal. then, i found out from mr lim that it's investiture not the performance rehearsal, i was vv pissed why weren't instructions given out clear. medal presentation for dragonboat nationals, ashley did odac reflection about sportsmanship and graciousness. presented the cups to school, which was kinda weird in a way or so.

i went for the math australian or olympiad thing, no use of calculators allowed. mmm. i forgot how to mutiply (eg. 62 * 18), like the way you write out and multiply. and, divide also! HAHAH, practically everything you have to do working type. my mind went blank when i saw this question. it was something i didn't have a clue about it at all. i was stuck then. damn. i wanna get certificate of merit, i wouldn't hope for distinction because i know for sure i won't. met victoria, sherlyn, melissa, their friend and amanda after school to spray paint and finish up the props. thanks alot juniors :D (though yall were playing all the time yeah!) another thing, tomorrow's ndp celebration day. first event - investiture, miss lam's speech then cca leaders' performance :( what if i screw up the legs man. hope all our efforts will be paid off well, especially those who spent alot of time who did the props and all.

on a lighter noteee, i'm seeing sissy tomorrow! she's coming to school, if not meeting me after school. watching UP! tomorrow w girls. and i feel like having a movie marathon soon.

Reach out.

i couldn't find the word to fit in the blank during my chinese paper. my mind went blank. i was desperately thinking of the correct word. i couldn't even complete the paper on time. there was something bothering me, i don't know what was it. the preparation time was not used to the fullest. damn. i thought i will probably do well for chinese paper this time round but, the questions given were so unexpected. i think i'm gonna fail, alot of people said they screwed it up, even those chinese experts, yknowwho.

1 down, 8 papers left.

studied w joleen aft school, it's better to study in school library than home. (yknowwhy ah!) next week ah. set okay! her mum fetched me to her house and, headed home then. tomorrow i've to wake up real early, like 5.30 HAHAH. (no oversleeping!) school tomorrow - rehearsal, medal presentation, lessons, math olympiad, lessons, remedial(?), final props making, final rehearsal before ndp celebration day.

STUDY NOW.

I'm still alive but i'm barely breathing.

ok so wifey and myself had our butts stuck at T2 MacDonalds for five damn hours. feels good to understand every bit you studied.

and i think i did relatively well for my bio test on monday yay!

yuck. busy schedule, and i hate it. after school - ndp rehearsal. vv screwed. ah. my hands seem to be of no use there. i don't know why. i better start thinking of better actions by friday! can somebody help meeee. karibs, dinner w parents and cousin, and shopping spree.

today! literature play was boring. probably it's the first period, and everyone feels sleepy. miss sim graded us badly and it's included in our ca. damn. ndp rehearsal - puppet group rehearsed. finally got the idea of it, but my part... still have to think of more ideas! ok so i was late for chi remedial. touch, late again. im late for everything. damn. vv fun! it bonds us together as a team. next week's gonna be real fun i suppose. all things said and done, briefed the team about punishments. i know we're being vv strict here, but you've to understand that we've to discipline all of you to be next year double champs. all of you all want it right? the shining gold trophy that we can raise up together as a team. the feeling is just... unexplainable. icc w wifey, char, meiyee, sherlyn and mel. strawberry w kinder bueuno, free topping shiok!

tomorrow's chinese ca, off to study now! teehee.
i'm having high hopes on this paper.

Live your life like it's all you had.

i want to watch orphan. or final destination.(not NC 16 pls!)
anybody want to watch with
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and my sissy.

today had trng. ran 2km before trng, supposedly 4.3, but sherlyn overslept and dianty was late. now i'm as red as a lobster. i didn't really sleep last night, almost everyone knew i was tired. training is so shiok when you get what your coach wants of you. like you know that feeling... so unexplainable. it's like you can paddle on forever and ever and you don't even feel exhausted. however, after training, i felt as if i was about to die. we did many 250m race sets and i felt good about it, i know i pushed myself and the feeling of achieving things is good. coach mentioned, "looks good, though you seem unwilling to slow down your frequency" and "you got it, that's what i want of you".

i'm a happy kid.
but this had to spoil my day. i'm feeling pain on my arm, i don't know if it's muscle strain, joint or ligament problem. at some angles, the acute pain will come. i've no idea how am i suppose to train hard if this continues. stopped, and now it's back. i hate injuries. spare me the torture. oh and training ended with, "PERFECT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT"

karibs tuition right after trng sucks. we rushed down, however, still late for 25 mins and he was furious. we did equations of circle and i understand this topic surprisingly. because when lim taught us this, i had no idea what she's talking about.

many people have been falling sick nowadays. on tuesday, it was rachel's turn. now it's sylvia's turn.

sissy lim!
don't get H1N1 ah, i know you got the symptoms.
take good care of yourself okay!
trng and karibs w/o you is really boring.
nobody to blast my music with, run with and all,
so come back soon alright!(Y)

ah, now i shall start studying.

and lately, many people complained "WHY NO TAGBOARD". now i've added it up on links, so go tag ah! :B