HO HO HO!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! HO HO HO!! XD

Ah. I'm broke!! Have been going out alot recently. Monday, went for etrg and time trials i think... Went for krabz and dying. Tuesday met Dejun and Kimberlyn to get presents @ Tampines, in the end I only got Sylvia and Ber's. Met Justin and Kfc for lunch, Jasper came and played Slapjack, Cheat and Taiti. Damn fun ok!! Justin and Jasper reaction were ultra slow for Slapjack. Dejun tried saboing me but failed many times. Caught Avatar with Dejun and Jasper. Went Shaw then Gv because it was too packed... Sat @ the third row and my neck was damn pain la. Hahaha well at least the movie was nice :) 65 home with Dejun then.

Wednesday was time trial for marathon... The timing was good and I realised I was dying when I did 14km. So how am Isuppose to complete 22km on the race day itself. Well, it seems that my stamina is relatively lousy compared to my competitors. Lunch and Edina's house for Geog project, had Ice Cream Chef and home. Today met Dejun and had lunch @ Macs, went Shaw and realised we missed the timing for Chipmunks so we went Gv instead... The queue is super long ah. We queued for half an hour for tix!! In the end Chipmunks only had separate seats so we watched Sherlock Holmes instead. The storyline's nice, reminds me of Angels and Demons. Well, my neck's kinda pain too because it was the fifth row. Bought Kimberlyn's present anyway!! It's damn nice ah I feel like getting it for myself too. Had dinner @ CenturySquare and wanted to watch Chipmunks but too tired already. I no $$$ anyway!! Officially broke.

(Jasper posted this!!)

Lol a random thought just came to my head. If Santa Claus is real and he delivers present by going down the chimney, how's he going to deliever presents in Sg? i mean majority of us lives in HDB flats, and as far as i know, HDB flats have no chimney. Haha maybe he sneaks in through the windows or squeeze down the pipes. HAHA SO RANDOM!!

Having words in your heart that you can't utter.

Forget the last time when I said "Isn't it stupid to waste their time out there slacking when they are already at Bedok Reservoir?" Now I feel that I'm actually one of them, after comparing myself to those who have been trying their best to improve themselves despite being slower than the average? I despise seeing myself being this way. Also, I can't help to feel hostile towards this group of people, having this urge to win them. I should stop getting upset over these stuffs and start to control myself.

:) :D XD

haha can't remember what happen this week, probably cuz my memory not big enough, gotta upgrade soon to terabytes. shall start from yesterday then.

Slept like a PIG yesterday. Woke up at like 10:52? haha so long never slept till so late. Shiok ttm. went to the dad's salon with ber in the afternoon. haha i got BROWN extensions and ber went to cut her bangs again. then studied at macs with ber, syl and gorilla bro (or boiboi which is kinda weird and funny considering his imba arms and stamina.)

Training this morning. Thought i was gonna get scolded by teacher if she saw my brown extensions. HAHA but i'm too smart too get caught, tied up my hair so it won't be obvious. Managed to escape those teacher's eyes which is like constantly looking out for rule breakers. But hey! it's the hols! am i not allowed to put extension until school reopens? lol during warm-up run the team saw me and went "eh you put extensions! took snow white with ber and rowed long distance before bursting time. kinda good i think, managed to win k4 by slight margin if i'm not wrong.

wanted to go cycling tomo=rrow de, but mum found out i got no tuition tomorrow so assumed i'm staying at home whole day. OH NO!! this means i gotta study the whole day. T.T Any kind souls out there wanna join me for studying tomorrow?? PLS!! or else i'll be bored and sianz ttm without company.

haha but come to think of it i should look at the bright side as well. At least i'll have time to complete some of my hols hw, + studying makes me smarter so it can't be that bad :)

Imba pig (a.k.a jasper) XD

Lately.

Looking back on life and everything that happened will make you stronger. It has been all about training recently. Well i guess that's a good thing since Kimberlyn is going overseas tomorrow. It's time for a break for our K2. Well. Have fun, my dearest partner :) And I don't understand why I'm always trying to act strong. I really don't like it when people see the weak side of me... It makes me feel that I have to rely on someone. Does looking back on life really help? I don't like to feel this way either.

Life is too short to keep bothered by the past.

I'm trying to get over many things. Get over it, Joey. Well, my parents said that I shouldn't be going for etrg since it's always raining nowadays. Can someone help meee pls i need to think of reasons to persuade them. :( CALLING FOR CANOEISTS.

Had krabz and spent quality time talking to girls @ Whitesand's Superdog. Watched Paranormal Activity with Dejun, Jasper and Rachel. Rachel and i got 2012 tix and tried sneaking in. This old man there caught us sneaking in but we ignored him, so the plan worked~ First time sneaking in Nc16 movie wootz thanks guys!! I would say it's more of a documentary. Go watch the trailer and look @ innocent expressions! I saw the same scene just now damn cute. Well it was retarded. Dejun, Jasper and I burst out laughing @ some parts when people freaked out so they started looking @ us. Only the last part is scary, i jumped out of my seat and screamed a little. Had pepperlunch for dinner and walked ard, 21 home with Dejun.

It's too late to start all over again.

Many things happened recently. Ah. I have completely no idea what to do. Can someone help??? I'm giving up soon, the life that I'm leading is intolerable. Oh and another note i'm really broke, spent so much on birthday presents and food recently. Nice. I saw someone recently and this came to my mind- Putting one's boyfriend or girlfriend before someone else and blames that someone for losing in touch. Then calls the someone a friend. It sucks... And doesn't it sound just like you?

Imagine if we never lied,

An unusual thing happened today - I was late for training. Blame Belinda for this, she asked me to get her breakfast from MacDonalds. Ah. Kimberlyn and I felt motivated to row 21km today and yesss we did!! Next up, 22km on Monday. Capsized once all thanks to Kimberlyn's good idea, thinking of giving it a last shot for a short sprint back to the galleria. And pssshh, we capsized. Great, isn't it. So the reward for accomplishing the goal for today was Ananas Cafe's Chicken Rice. Did differentiation during krabz and I'm trying to get the hang of it. I'm gonna make use of this holiday, I promise you I will.

Rachel said that I shouted "SEC 1S CAN YOU DONT STAND THERE COME AND HELP TAKE BOAT PADDLE" FIERCE. Also, Joshua thought I was malay. Whydoes everyone thinks that I'm a fierce malay? 我不明白.

Don't close your eyes or we will fade away.

Like no other.

Watched Sister's Keeper and Poker King recently. Sister's keeper was really touching so Ber, Dejun and I teared, but Kelvin laughed. Poker King taught me many things about life. I was reading subtitles actually. Ah. Wanted to sneak in Jennifer's Body but failed :( I wanna watch Love Happens and 2012 real sooon!! Anyoneee?

I should appreciate the people around me, being always there for me, giving me a helping hand and all. Thank you very much, i do need that yknow!! Kimberlyn, Sylvia, Belinda, Rachel, Shirleen, Sean, Jasper, Kelvin, Dejun, Kenneth, Victoria, Hwei Xin, Nellis, Deonn and Vanessa.

/edited
Lunch with Kimberlyn at Tamp1, saw Brother and Jasper there so coincidential ya. Arcade at Tm for short while and bought tix for Astro Boy!! I couldn't believe that I was watching Astro Boy because previously i was telling people damn childish. I can't believe I teared so easily but it was vv touching. Stupid Kimberlyn just laughed. Managed to sneak in another theatre, only to realise it's 2012. But we didn't watch because of certain reasons... Bought Victoria's present, went to my house Macs to do krabz work. Met Kelvin and Zhi Kang there, they were supposedly teaching me Math but we ended up not talking. So stupid right. Headed home then. Train hard tomorrow!!!!! MOTIVATION PLS COME.

It's not that our love died, just nvr really bloomed

Buried beneath all the lies.

I dont like to feel insecure. The feeling of emptiness is so overpowering. I need to scream and let out those fustrations. Can i just absent myself from reality? Ugh. One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter. That's exactly how im feeling. Its sad to know that people you know become people you knew. Like how they used to be part and parcel of your life but now you can barely look at them.

On a happier note,
training yesterday morning. Coach had invigilation for A levels and Mr Teo took over. We managed to finish 20km today!! Ah felt accomplished, thank you Kimberlyn :) Raced 200m with Mr Teo once and won us by 30m. Fast right. Hahah that's because he's from SJI and NJC, best canoeing schools ya. At our last 500m to our 20km, we raced with k4 and Mr Teo. We lost, but it was a good race :) The idea of having sunglasses worked, our coordination was good like what Mr Teo said.

Well. Many bad things aft training, fights crying all. I give up la seriously. Had lunch and three hours karibs, nearly died doing differentiation. Parents came and pick me up for steamboat dinner and everything changed after all the shouting. Collapsed when I reached home.

Who do I run to?

Kimberlyn, my fp, blogged something really stupid just now. Despite it being stupid, i would still like to thank you! Xie xie ni. Let's give it our best tomorrow. Remember, twenty km! And thank you Shirleen toooo! :)

Been quite some time since i last updated, isn't it? Anyway i'm feeling really horrible. I don't seem to understand you, my dear parents.. I appear to be looking fine to you all the time even when i was feeling down, right? Have you ever asked me anything besides studies? Our conversations has always been about studies and it has not changed. Your desire of me is to study hard, get into a good University, graduate and do your proud. Have you ever asked me anything regarding my passion and dream? Is it simply because you favour my dear brother and you don't give a damn about me? I don't want to think of it this way either.

Well, Kenneth called me pessimistic. Kelvin mentioned that my parents are just being concerned for me. Many said that I'm still young s0 I won't understand. It isn't about me being old or young, it's about having mutual trust for each other. And I give up now cause nothing I say will change.

Crazy

Kimberlyn here, posting for some lazy butt Joey.

Today was a great day. I was woken up by the sounds of the birds chirping. Feeling happy, I skipped to my garden and started smelling the flowers. The flowers smelt so great that I started to dance and skip. Suddenly this bird saw me and started dancing too. Not long after a monkey came and was attracted to me. I was flattered, so I danced with the monkey. The bird then got jealous and pulled me away from the monkey, then he took flight and I was in the sky. Amazed by what was happening, I did not realize the monkey had grown wings and was also flying beside the bird. The bird and the monkey then started to fight, and in the midst of their fighting the bird had dropped me. I was falling!

Flashbacks of my life started running through my head, all those memories. I started to tear, wondering why I had to die so young. However, after all that drama which happened in a split second, my skirt suddenly poofed up and I floated down safely and landed in a pool of fishes!

I didn't know what happened, but I could breathe underwater. It was amazing! Swimming, swimming, in this gentle stream, so calm, so soothing. The water currents then started to go faster... and faster and suddenly I was sucked into a whirlpooool. Round and round I went, saying my last prayers and everything, and then I was sucked in, what I thought was the end of my life, leaded me to out space, where I was spat out of a blackhole.

Holding my breath as long as I could, with no oxygen in space, I could not hold it any longer, so I tried to breath. Strange, I could breathe! I then made my way to Earth, riding on a shooting star. The star then entered the boundary of the Earth... and I was pulled down fast by gravity, with the shooting star disintegrating, forming dust. I was sick of thinking I was going to die, so I just closed my eyes and I felt my body floating.

Being patient, I didn't open my eyes until I felt my feet touch a prickly surface. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and found myself standing in the middle of my garden, still in my pajamas.

End?

Don't delete and scold me!

24th.

Sweet fifteen!! Pictures up there and facebook!! What i wished for... mmm let's just keep it to myself. Thank you girlfriends and guys, really appreciate your presence there and presents!! :) Also, thank you for the wishes ya love you all. :) I'm still young stop saying i'm old, you guys aren't that young either. Everyone will age soon, don't worry.

Captain's ball was fun!! Bbq and Buffet then. Brought people in because they got lost nice one!! Captain's ball -boys vs girls. Well more girls, but the guys still won and that's because they cheated. Throw from one end to another. Sean's jumping, Kelvin's height, Zk's fierceness, Victor's catching, Justin's agressiveness and Jasper's busy messaging!! Well. Cut cakes followed by bro's cake fight... Chaos~~ And i nearly get it from some idiots!! They secretly planning but failed because i'm smart enough to run away yay wootz. Drinking and cards game till 5am. Slept for an hour and that marks my birthday. Thank you everyone :)

Inside i start to fall apart.

Papers over!! Anyway spent my daysss well i like i happy ~~

Friday! Caught 500 Days Of Summer with Ber, Syl, Rach!! Cute wor. Went for training alone huh sadded. K1 because Kimberlyn went Bali and the rest stupid la dont want go with me. Attended relative's wedding and omg i like her wedding dress wootz! I told her hen piao liao then she very happy. Sadly no pictures but it's really nice i tell you ah.

Saturday funnn~~ Ecp after krabz, stupid Vic abandoned us. Cycling my idea!! :) cycling + texting spells Dangerous. Couldn't stop in time so i fell. bleeding i tell you ah damn pain ok!! stupid Rach and Syl never help me still bully meee. Retarded Sean cameover and cycled from Jetty back to Bk. Sunday was plainly rotting @ home.

Monday ^^ Breakfast with Sylvia, Odac Exco Meeting sounds serious but ya so much jokes and all!! Voted for who to be what, discussed about many things. Caught Imagine That with Ber, Syl, Rach and Retarded Sean!! I like the daughter so cute. Rushed for krabz and i suck @ kinematics. Shopping @ M)phosis and Cotton On, i nearly spent hundredsss because the lady spam me with everything. Ordered Strawberry Delight from Swensens for my birthday and costed $65 dad paid for it!! i tell you ah it's damn shiok one serious and i might get itouch for my birthday wootz!

Ok la i think i'm feeling high now. Asked Ber and Syl to comeover tomorrow movie marathon ++ many things!! :)

Car in the driveway, parked sideways

I regret for the many things I did, really.

Cease contact with each other. Will it help? because they find it useless to keep in contact and would probably say, "for what?". Don't you sometimes feel the guilt in you. Why cant things be the same like before. Staying as friends at least, would probably be better than strangers.

blardy depressed.
because papers everyday nxt week!!!!!!! > :( :( :(
ugh. spent 8 hours just now studying.

Letting go, cause i know you're only halfway there.

Study and running the past few days. Okay my ankle acted up again :( Interclass soccer and captain's ball for PE. My team spells V-I-C-T-O-R-Y. Alright, here comes me complaining about the pain right after PE. I ended up limping in school for the entire day. (Don't ask me who I was talking about, because it's only meant for the person to know k thx) My point is, looking back will just make you feel worse.

Trying to pretend it's perfect.
Someday
I don't wanna talk about it
I don't wanna say another word
I've already said too much
Cause you just never seem to get it
Do you even care how much it hurts
To hate the one you love
And I'm just waiting for the day
When I
Can finally leave all this hurt behind

Twist logic.

My exams start tomorrow... sigh. Study sessions aft school till 16th october. English paper tomorrow, hopefully nice topic for free writing. DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR : Someone to teach me Biology!

"Sometimes you tell someone never to call again and then the phone rings and you hope its them... " Futile attempts. A brand new day awaits me.

Almost there.

Its funny how we change so much without realising it.

I'm ultra tired. haven't been speaking much in school i guess, neglecting friends and stuff. I need a break baaadly. I want to set some time aside for training. I don't want to fall back again. It feels real. Horrible. But now i don't have the time to prepare myself for examinations, furthermore training? Three papers tomorrow, chemistry e and a math, strongest subjects, yet i'm not even prepared for it. I'm sick of it, the feeling of being unprepared about everything. Almost there, just hang on...

bus ride was fun >:):)

Masked.

Joey ask to Fortune Teller Genius:

Asked Will coach get the Nelo Vanquish III K2?
and the answer is No, first you must study

omggg look @ this!!!!!! It sounds real, i don't know why. I guess, i really have to grab a pen and start writing. Enough of blogging, facebook, texting, msn and everything. I realised I get distracted vv easily, I don't have the discipline to study @ home. I don't like this. Ok rlly need to start studying already hahahaha this week is the best week ever shit i can ever get. Everyday after school stay at home, stone study msn.

Anyway "ohh shit",
have a safe trip @ penang and have fun.

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

I'm sick of everything. Sometimes, I longed that I could time travel so everything will return to what it was like in the past, when things weren't that distant. I appear to be looking fine all the time, happy. But when I think of ------, it would likely to be the opposite. It seemed that I have moved on, in fact I have not. I climb so high, but still I fall back down.

Your change is expected, I say. I don't like to see how you have changed to a contrast of what you were. I don't want to be in this debate within myself, leaving me signs of slight hope that you will eventually return to what you were. Basically, i'm convincing myself that I will survive in a battle when I have nothing with me. High hopes and Heartbreak. I can't be bothered, I'm trying to accept for who you are now. You and your circle, you and your "insensitive side for others", you and your promises.

I really don't want to care anymore about your change.
You can go on bragging,
your girls (mind you, the word "girls" is with a S),
and whatever you can brag about.

Tell me honestly once more.
Does it matter now if I say I miss you?



JOKE OF THE DAY :
sissy received her birthday present from us, opened the box, saw a tin of milo, thinking that there was still something else inside the tin, tried opening using bare hands but to no avail, so she used a ruler to open it and found out that it's actually MILO POWDER inside.

happy fifteen darling sissy and wongy~

Did you ever...

NOBODY'S PERFECT... Are you going to get pissed over how someone wants their own privacy? Start a war? Tell someone off?

I.REALLY.WANT.TO.DO.WELL.

I told you that i can study better outside already...Why can't you have some trust in me since i'm your daugher, or am i even your biological daughter? What you do is to, check my phone for texts and ban me from this and that... Countless things. Basically that's all i can remember.

sorry i just felt like it bye

Cast no shadow.

Last training today... was much disappointment? It didn't feel like I gave my all for all race sets because i was pushing people on... Is this an excuse or a fact? I don't know. Anyway, happy coaches' day! I caught The Time Traveller's Wife w Sylvia and Victoria, I LIKED IT. Victoria and I cried, despite Victoria watching it twice. Sylvia=cold-blooded.
HAPPY NINETEEN KAHMUN~

The Proposal is awesome, I had a good laugh :> Basically that's what I remember. Training on Wednesday w Damai coach, nothing much. Lunch, Donuts w Mr Chua and Coffeebean w Belinda to study! Saw Ignatius and i NEARLY got a free movie treat. Victoria cameover on Thursday and had our butts at MacDonalds for about 7hours...

It's sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like there were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them. Is this how we're suppose to communicate?

Staring up at the stars that aren't there anymore.

Training was killer. 2km warmup run, 4.3km and coach wants us to run under 30mins, if not pushups for punishment... so we had 430 pushups for punishment but we did 230 today, owe him 200 on friday hehe. (hopefully friday we don't exceed time limit if not we will owe him foreverrr!) maintained my stamina, 27 mins yay~ boats changed, used nelo vanquish ll and did 10km straight. i'm damn tired. i couldn't feel my arm... major turn off. i've to endure, two more trainings to go! i don't want to stop now. lunch @ tampines w sissy and wifey! supposedly meeting coach for donuts aft lunch, but he came for a short while w jethro to meet us. karibs, all of us were dying there. dinner with family and home~

town w girls tomorrow WOOHOO.
but i'm tired...

Friday.

It was a pretty short week, with teachers' day celebration and stuff. i'm tired and it marks the end of term 3. got back our report cards, i was indeed jealous and i can't accept defeats. :( after school, ran around school finding for girls and woodlands mac for an inspirational talk by this national sailing team captain. it was pretty boring at the start, but after knowing more about sports and stuff, i felt enlightened~ pictures taking, macs for refreshments since the venue is @ macs and back to school. parkway's coffee bean w dianty! i killed my craving for the day- hot double chocolate with marshmallows. ultra shiokkk ^^ went adidas, finding shirts and bought my pink adidas bottle! (now kimberlyn, jo, rach and i have same bottles but all different colours) i like i like.

i'm tired.
training tomorrow, i wanna push myself for a week more.

Difficulties.

I feel so blardy depressed because... I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING MUCH @ THE GYM ON SUNDAY, stupid arm injury. i don't like. wahlao.......... looking at rachel doing weights was a MAJOR TURN OFF. ah. well, at least i didn't spend my sunday rotting @ home so that's good. went for frolick to kill my craving, it brightened up my day~

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY~ celebration was good, no lessons! mass was alright, despite dreading it at the start. class party turned out well, followed by ice fight and it was real fun yknow! CONCERT. i like. ballroom dance, singing, dance club' dances and 2/1 dance! icc w sissy, wifey, rach and nicole. green tea didn't taste nice and it spoilt my appetite. headed for karibs, lesson was real funny and headed home. out w girls t ecp tmrw!~

Letting go of all I've held onto

Let go.

27. I don't like the number - 27.

life's so painful, i'm so fucking tired so spare me the agony. sigh. if i'm given a choice, i wouldn't want to see you there that day. everything would remain the same, no promises, nothing. now you feel happy, forget all about me and neglect me. it's a long way down. i've been trying to breathe but i'm fighting for air. you used to be always there when everything falls apart, but now you're no longer there. i'm feeling very confused. you knew, i was having a difficult time moving on, why did you have to make it worse. why are you so insensitive? sometimes, i really don't feel talking to you at all. i'm letting go of all i've held onto.

may you tell me something sweet to get me by? for once more.

Suffocating.

Though nothing seems to be left behind,
there is always something to look for, somewhere beyond.

rushed down for training after chinese remedial, coach was feeling playful~ he paired all the seniors up for k2s and we did 250m/100m sprints. coach partnered me up with tracy, first time taking together and went down in plastex k2. mm, we're the only k2 that didn't capsize! ultra happy man. anddd, her ultra lame jokes... srsly can laugh your ass off. i was feeling very horrible, but tracy cheered me up a little tho, thanks~

Letting go of all I've held onto.

Got back my results. ahh~ well, i passed biology on the dot. social studies was plain disappointment, i found the paper alright but as usual, still failing. i don't feel like blogging. i'm feeling very very horrible now... not only because of results. i'm having training tomorrow, hopefully feeling better. i hate myself for being like this.

Feels like i'm hanging by a thread.

Training in the morning, there was an event going on @ BedokReservoir. we did 6km first, break, followed by 250m sprints. raced w kimberlyn, wifey, sissy, ashley and tpjc guy. i find the tpjc guy ultraaa fast. he said "i race slow one" and burst. i don't like. i tried pushing myself today, however, i know for myself that i was distracted and my arm was really in pain. i feel weak. my strokes were... horrendous, coach had to keep telling me to be patient, slow down my strokes and pull deeper into the water. i spent weeks slowing down my strokes and in fact, it worked. i thought that i would remain as what it is now, going for slow strokes yet going at a faster speed. however, it's coming back. i rly don't like it.

JOEY, YOU BETTER LEARN HOW TO BE PATIENT.
else i'm going to hate you for life.

rushed home then whitesands, karibs and finished R-formula worksheet~ whitesands macs w rach, wifey, sissy, nicole! taptap and i stayed there alone to do my work, thanks to somebodyyyyy. i don't like. 21 home!

/edited
i was supposed to be out gyming + studying. man, my mum just said,"no more gyming, running and studying outside." i don't like.
AND HI RACHEL SIAO JIA YU~

Letting go of all I've held onto.

i questioned myself and defeat is the best word to describe my feelings.

many unexplainable things have been happening to me lately, i don't know why but i'm trying to look at things from a different perspective. it's difficult, i'm trying but i don't seem to be on the right track. i hate to feel this way. i'm neglecting some of my true friends who are always there for me, but i don't want to feel this way either. i'm ultra sorry, i'm trying to change! sometimes the more you come to know a person, the more you feel lost when you're trying to understand him/her. i don't like.

sissy and jo!
i know you're still @ obs! me miss you and come back soon alrightt,

Starving for truth.

The weather today was so hot i think i'm melting and i had training! attendance was so muuuch better. we did the same sets as saturday, however, this time round i did 14km instead of 21km due to limited time. mm, i see people pushing themselves more now. i rather you do it slow than cheat in terms of the sets you're doing. do you see any point in cheating yourself, the team and coach, in terms of the sets you're doing? i don't see any point in cheating. don't you feel guilty? will you improve? question yourself. i'm just keeping mum, think about it for your own sake. ah well. i suddenly thought of something. i want to grow till 158cm at least :( it's so depressing when people say you lose because you're short or you've shorter limbs. my arm has been acting up lately. doctor, sinseh or just ignore. omg. i really don't know what the doctor will say.

to make things worse, i got back my emath paper and scored terribly. okkk SOME people (i wonder who!) might want to beat me up i know, but i guess you've to see things from my point of view. emath is the best paper i can score in, so twenty-five out of thirty isn't a good thing.

i miss you sissy!
today.is.a.bad.day.and.i.dont.like.
:(

on a lighter noteeeee, victoria's sweet enough to bake me cookies! supposedly gingerbread man but it broke.

Who do I run to?

Happy eighteen tyc, train hard for ivps~ doubt you'll see this tho.

so, me had training in the morning and everything turned out fine, in fact, everything. but the same thing had to spoil my day. sometimes, i blame myself for it. maybe i'm just not good enough for it or something, i wouldn't know. coach told us to row 6rounds then 10mins break, and that's counted as one set. all of us were supposed to do three sets and more tho, i did 19 rounds(which is 20.9km) with 15 mins break. i didn't go accordingly to the resttime tho, i guess i was really determined at that time~ but i know for myself, i will never be good enough for it. my last set was tedious, my arm has been acting up lately and sometimes i really don't want to stop, but i know i have to, soon. should i seek a doctor... but there comes the painkillers, mc and everything. i don't like.

karibs, bad day indeed. met ng jing cheng to study @ macs aft tuition, w wifey, sissy, rach sitting next table and they brightened up my day :D thanks for the lollipop beee~ i was playing taptap w girls tho, vv fun HAHAH. did karibs, his friends came along aft girls left. left ard sixplus w beeee, took 21 tgt~ fish steamboat w godparents and parents, headed home then. gyming and studying tmrw supposedly, but all cancelled :(


and if now i say i like you,
would you bother.

Fingertips.

All papers down~ i know for myself that i screwed some papers ttm. studied but still screwed, okkk it doesn't make any sense. got back chinese and chem tho, 61% for chi surprisingly while chem 77.5%. so today to spice up my life, i caught ... WHERE GOT GHOST w sissy and vic~ missed the 3plus one because we were eating super slowly @ yoshinoya, caught the 4.50 one instead! bought tix, walked ard in Toy R'us and behaved like small kidz who are deprived of childhood. i like to blow bubbles. sissy! let's get one huge bottle on 24th oct okkk~ lost the tix before movie started, so i bought another three tix for us :( wo mei you qian le. BUTTT! the movie's niceee, tho it's in chinese. FUNNY + SCARY = NICE. vic and i were grabbing each other hands okkk, come to think of it, it's vv funny~ then we were all leaning towards sylvia! headed home then. thanks for today, you guys brightened my day^^

All we need is ... time.

Hiiiii. man it was good studying on sunday with ber + monday with fun-sized. tuesday! chem was awesomeee, however, bio sucked. hate it when i cannot have the chance to choose what science subject i wanted all along, phyiscs :( on a lighter note, i passed my chinese (61%)! last touch training, studied in school + home and slept lateee. mmm, e math was totally screwed. i don't understand why must there always be mistakes in the paper and others don't even spend time checking it. spent time studying geog and it turned out alright! hopefully i will get mmm, A1 :>

i hate how some people are always feeling complacent about themselves, not cherishing what they have until they lose it. they will never understand how lucky they are when they have the access to _________ or _________. then they think that it's simply "chickenfeet" to them to win us, so they don't even give in their all for each race set they do. i mean, there are sure many times when people will feel complacent about themselves, because they think they are good at it or something. i know for myself very well, i just keep running away because a part of me is afraid, i keep asking myself why am i afraid, but i always have no answer to that. ah well, they should wake up and stop being so complacent, because it's not going to get you anywhere else, one day, you'll still lose it.

Approaching perfection.

damn. i reached school at 6.40 today because i was informed that there's rehearsal. then, i found out from mr lim that it's investiture not the performance rehearsal, i was vv pissed why weren't instructions given out clear. medal presentation for dragonboat nationals, ashley did odac reflection about sportsmanship and graciousness. presented the cups to school, which was kinda weird in a way or so.

i went for the math australian or olympiad thing, no use of calculators allowed. mmm. i forgot how to mutiply (eg. 62 * 18), like the way you write out and multiply. and, divide also! HAHAH, practically everything you have to do working type. my mind went blank when i saw this question. it was something i didn't have a clue about it at all. i was stuck then. damn. i wanna get certificate of merit, i wouldn't hope for distinction because i know for sure i won't. met victoria, sherlyn, melissa, their friend and amanda after school to spray paint and finish up the props. thanks alot juniors :D (though yall were playing all the time yeah!) another thing, tomorrow's ndp celebration day. first event - investiture, miss lam's speech then cca leaders' performance :( what if i screw up the legs man. hope all our efforts will be paid off well, especially those who spent alot of time who did the props and all.

on a lighter noteee, i'm seeing sissy tomorrow! she's coming to school, if not meeting me after school. watching UP! tomorrow w girls. and i feel like having a movie marathon soon.

Reach out.

i couldn't find the word to fit in the blank during my chinese paper. my mind went blank. i was desperately thinking of the correct word. i couldn't even complete the paper on time. there was something bothering me, i don't know what was it. the preparation time was not used to the fullest. damn. i thought i will probably do well for chinese paper this time round but, the questions given were so unexpected. i think i'm gonna fail, alot of people said they screwed it up, even those chinese experts, yknowwho.

1 down, 8 papers left.

studied w joleen aft school, it's better to study in school library than home. (yknowwhy ah!) next week ah. set okay! her mum fetched me to her house and, headed home then. tomorrow i've to wake up real early, like 5.30 HAHAH. (no oversleeping!) school tomorrow - rehearsal, medal presentation, lessons, math olympiad, lessons, remedial(?), final props making, final rehearsal before ndp celebration day.

STUDY NOW.

I'm still alive but i'm barely breathing.

ok so wifey and myself had our butts stuck at T2 MacDonalds for five damn hours. feels good to understand every bit you studied.

and i think i did relatively well for my bio test on monday yay!

yuck. busy schedule, and i hate it. after school - ndp rehearsal. vv screwed. ah. my hands seem to be of no use there. i don't know why. i better start thinking of better actions by friday! can somebody help meeee. karibs, dinner w parents and cousin, and shopping spree.

today! literature play was boring. probably it's the first period, and everyone feels sleepy. miss sim graded us badly and it's included in our ca. damn. ndp rehearsal - puppet group rehearsed. finally got the idea of it, but my part... still have to think of more ideas! ok so i was late for chi remedial. touch, late again. im late for everything. damn. vv fun! it bonds us together as a team. next week's gonna be real fun i suppose. all things said and done, briefed the team about punishments. i know we're being vv strict here, but you've to understand that we've to discipline all of you to be next year double champs. all of you all want it right? the shining gold trophy that we can raise up together as a team. the feeling is just... unexplainable. icc w wifey, char, meiyee, sherlyn and mel. strawberry w kinder bueuno, free topping shiok!

tomorrow's chinese ca, off to study now! teehee.
i'm having high hopes on this paper.

Live your life like it's all you had.

i want to watch orphan. or final destination.(not NC 16 pls!)
anybody want to watch with
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and my sissy.

today had trng. ran 2km before trng, supposedly 4.3, but sherlyn overslept and dianty was late. now i'm as red as a lobster. i didn't really sleep last night, almost everyone knew i was tired. training is so shiok when you get what your coach wants of you. like you know that feeling... so unexplainable. it's like you can paddle on forever and ever and you don't even feel exhausted. however, after training, i felt as if i was about to die. we did many 250m race sets and i felt good about it, i know i pushed myself and the feeling of achieving things is good. coach mentioned, "looks good, though you seem unwilling to slow down your frequency" and "you got it, that's what i want of you".

i'm a happy kid.
but this had to spoil my day. i'm feeling pain on my arm, i don't know if it's muscle strain, joint or ligament problem. at some angles, the acute pain will come. i've no idea how am i suppose to train hard if this continues. stopped, and now it's back. i hate injuries. spare me the torture. oh and training ended with, "PERFECT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT"

karibs tuition right after trng sucks. we rushed down, however, still late for 25 mins and he was furious. we did equations of circle and i understand this topic surprisingly. because when lim taught us this, i had no idea what she's talking about.

many people have been falling sick nowadays. on tuesday, it was rachel's turn. now it's sylvia's turn.

sissy lim!
don't get H1N1 ah, i know you got the symptoms.
take good care of yourself okay!
trng and karibs w/o you is really boring.
nobody to blast my music with, run with and all,
so come back soon alright!(Y)

ah, now i shall start studying.

and lately, many people complained "WHY NO TAGBOARD". now i've added it up on links, so go tag ah! :B

Silent scream.

omg.

i spent ysd reading A Midsummer Night's Dream, slog like hell also not of any use. sigh. i screwed my Literature CA. kill me somebody. what is wrong with me. i understand the damn plot but the questions they gave, were so unpredictable. How has shakespeare create humour in this scene? To what extent is this scene one of the highlights in A Midsummer Night's Dream? refer to other parts of the play.

i feel damn frustrated and i can't focus on doing my english compre. ugh.

also, i met sylvia after school for a 2.4 km run. i don't remember myself sprinting or increasing pace, simply leisure running. oh and to make things worse, my timing was 13.50. i'll probably start running everyday (ONLY IF MY DAD ALLOWS) he's being damn stubborn here. he says it's too hot to run after school. i know people will say he's just being concerned for me, but i'm just staying back for an hour after school to run and improve my stamina. ugh.

sometimes the more you come to know a person, the more you feel lost when you're trying to understand him/her. just like you think you know me, but you simply don't understand me at all. and lately, i feel that i'm starting to not know my friends. i don't seem to be of any help to them and they don't even approach me for help nowadays even if they need. i hate to feel this way.

Make the pain go away.

moved from summerkiss-d@blgspt! HAHAH, vv fickle i knw, probably too sick of it yeh. the weather today is so cold Im freezinggg! days without trng thrice a wk feels shitty :\ everyday planned, START STUDYING EVERYDAY i know for a reason, i wanna get in a Junior College.

another thing, my k1. i know that i have this urge to beat her. but i just keep running away and procrastinating. a part of me wants to take k1, because i want to thrash her real soon. but another part of me is afraid. i told myself that i have done it before, so i shouldn't be afraid. i asked myself what im afraid of, and i have no answer to that. i always feel the chances of thrashing her are near impossible, probably because i've lost to her countless times. actually, i wondered if there's such a thing like an answer machine, if there is, i really want one.

i think everyone wonders all the time whether their friends are being true to them. everyone will definitely feel that way at least, once in their lifetime. friends- they give you hopes and disappoint you rightafter, it feels horrible i know. like what we say, "always have trust in them" but i have realised that not everyone can be trusted, not everything may be what it seems.

rach w.!
2 days w/o you in sch is really boring.
take good care of yourself!
rest well and see you tmrw, (Y)

and if you wanna tag, go to comments. thx alot. (esp for sherlyn)