Having words in your heart that you can't utter.

Forget the last time when I said "Isn't it stupid to waste their time out there slacking when they are already at Bedok Reservoir?" Now I feel that I'm actually one of them, after comparing myself to those who have been trying their best to improve themselves despite being slower than the average? I despise seeing myself being this way. Also, I can't help to feel hostile towards this group of people, having this urge to win them. I should stop getting upset over these stuffs and start to control myself.